


Play Your Hand

by APiet



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:16:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5321831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/APiet/pseuds/APiet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Immediately after The Last Command, Mara sets to work trying to put together an agreement between the Smugglers Alliance and the New Republic. Luke, meanwhile, is getting a bit ahead of himself in terms of exactly what Mara has committed to…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I felt in the mood to try and write a Luke/Mara romance. This story treads familiar ground and probably doesn’t add very much original – there are many stories that have been written pushing them together during this era. But it’s one of my favourite L/M subgenres, which is why I wanted to try my hand at it myself. I have to add in an apologetic tone that I have little experience writing romance and I don’t think I’m very good at it, so apologies in advance for the hackneyed plot devices and cheesy romantic scenes! 
> 
> The section in italics at the start is, of course, quoted from the Last Command and copyright to that and of course the entire setting and all the characters belongs to Timothy Zahn, Lucasfilm and the Mouse.
> 
> This story is already completely written and I shall be posting it a bit of a time over the next few weeks.

_“What’s this?” Mara asked, frowning._

_“It’s my old lightsaber,” Luke told her quietly. “The one I lost at Cloud City, and nearly got killed with at Wayland.” He held it out. “I’d like you to have it.”_

_She looked at him, startled. “Me? Why?”_

_He shrugged self-consciously. “Lots of reasons. Because you earned it. Because you’re on your way to becoming a Jedi and you’ll need it. Mostly, though, because I want you to have it.”_

_Slowly, almost reluctantly, she took the weapon. “Thank you.”_

_“You’re welcome.” He touched her hand again. “I’ll be in the conference room with the others. Come on down when you’re decided.”_

Luke let his hand drop from where it rested on hers and turned to walk away slowly across the Palace roof. He kept his emotions under control, hoping Mara wouldn’t pick up on how nervous he was about her response. He didn’t expect any immediate answer, knowing the worst thing he could possibly do with the woman was try to push her into something before she wanted it. But still, the conversation had gone well. She seemed to be genuinely considering the Smugglers Alliance liaison role. If she accepted that, that would mean she would be based from Coruscant for the foreseeable future, and so she could continue training with him. She had even seemed to accept the idea of becoming a Jedi when he gave her his old lightsaber – at least, she hadn’t outright rejected the suggestion.

He felt his heart lift slightly. She had accepted his gift. And not used it to dismember him in any way. Their past was now behind them, and they could start afresh. Something like friendship seemed to be growing between them, and the friendship of someone like her, a Force sensitive who was one of the few people in the Galaxy who understood what a burden that truly was, was something that gave him joy. Now the Thrawn threat was dealt with, maybe there would be peace enough to start his real life’s work. And maybe, just maybe, he’d found someone to help him do it.

As he rested his hand on the door tab, sliding the door open, he felt filled with a sense of peace and hope for the first time in a long time.

“Hang on a minute,” came Mara’s voice from behind him. “I’ll come with you.”

He turned to her and a broad smile spread across his face, feeling from her that this was a _yes_ , an acceptance. He held the door open as she walked to join him, and as they headed down the stairwell, rejoiced inside that it was time to get on with the future.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The door slid open and Mara stepped into the Organa-Solo apartment, only to stop short at the scene of chaos that met her. Baby related items appeared to be scattered absolutely everywhere for no reason she could discern, and their golden protocol droid was wandering forlornly round the apartment trying to pick up stray socks and cuddly toys. A large dining table in the middle of the shared area was spread with datapads and layers of flimsiplast sheets with Han Solo and the aide Winter going through them. From an adjoining kitchen came smells and sounds of cooking and Mara glanced into it to see Leia Organa-Solo attempting to cook some form of elaborate greasy breakfast. ‘Attempting’ was a generous term as the amount of mess and smoke being created in the process suggested this was not one of the politician’s strong points. Mara wondered why she was bothering when a droid could do it much more efficiently. From the lounge area at the other end of the apartment came a gurgling sound and Mara glanced over, only to step back in alarm to see a small baby apparently hovering of it’s own accord above the loungers, giggling happily.

Solo’s attention was drawn by the noise as well. “I really wish you wouldn’t do that kid,” he drawled, but didn’t exactly sound concerned. He looked up at Mara, apparently just noticing her entrance. “Oh hi Mara, come on in. Just in time for a traditional Correllian breakfast. Take a seat.”

The baby abruptly dropped out of the air, but no scream of injury ensued and instead Luke’s head appeared from behind the concealment of the loungers. “Hi Mara,” he smiled up at her. He was now holding the infant in his arms, the child seeming quite content.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, confused.

“Oh, he’s just gonna look after the kids while we work. Otherwise it’ll be constant distractions. Ignore him,” Solo told her.

Leia bustled in balancing several plates covered in greasy bits of meat and starch based products. “Have you eaten yet, Mara? I hope you don’t mind us breakfasting while we talk? Eating while working seems to be the only way to fit everything in at the moment.”

“You ever had a traditional Correllian breakfast, Mara?” Han asked. “It’s the best in the galaxy!”

“Can’t say I have,” she answered cautiously, setting her satchel down on the table and taking a seat.

“One of these will keep you going for the rest of the day. Proper smugglers fare this is.”

Leia placed a plate in front of her and Mara examined it carefully. There was some form of egg with a gooey blue yolk, some singed root vegetables, and meat in at least three different forms, all extremely, if not over, done. It didn’t look appetizing exactly, but the smell of it did make her stomach rumble.

She tucked into the food, grateful for the cover for how disconcerted she felt. The Organa-Solo’s had invited her over for a breakfast meeting to discuss the on-going negotiations between the Smugglers Alliance and the New Republic officials. Thrashing out a workable deal was proving challenging to say the least, and since agreeing to take on the liaison role, the brunt of it was falling on her. Despite the faith of all parties in her abilities, political negotiations were entirely out of her experience and skill set, and every day it seemed like either the brazen profiteering of the smuggler chiefs or the distrust of crooks of the government officials were going to scupper the whole thing.

Word of the problems had apparently got back to Leia, who had called Mara into her political office the previous day for a quick chat. The quick chat had turned into a plan of action, and this morning was the convening of Leia’s ‘action group’ of specialists: Han Solo, former smuggler and Rebel General; Winter Retrac, former intel gatherer and experienced political aide; and of course Leia Organa-Solo herself, with all her years of political acumen and most importantly, experience of dealing with difficult smugglers (well, one in particular, but she insisted that was more than enough). As they ate, Solo started straight into how he thought they should address the problems, and soon Leia and Winter joined him with counterpoints and insights into the people Mara was dealing with.

“Why do you care so much?” She found herself interjecting at one point. “It seems to matter a lot to you that we make this work.”

Solo chuckled. “It’ll save me a lot of trouble, kid, that’s why. Before this crisis, the New Republic had me wandering round the galaxy trying to talk the fringe types into working with us. That’s how we fell into Karrde’s lap, if you recall. Now the babies are here, I’d much rather stay home with them, y’know? So if we can get this to work…”

“I won’t need to babysit so much,” Winter put in. “Which would be a relief, as it’s really not my forte.”

Leia laughed. “You don’t do so badly.”

“I’d rather leave the men to do it. They seem to enjoy it more.”

Mara glanced to where Luke was still lying on the floor entertaining the twin babies. It was a strange sight that didn’t jibe with the Jedi image everyone seemed to have of him. But then, Luke was a confusing mix of traits at the best of times. Doting uncle shouldn’t be such a surprise, really. She dragged her attention back to the table.

“So, what do you think we should do about Mazzic’s demands?” she asked. The conversation re-focused, and Mara found that she enjoyed the no-nonsense, problem solving approach they took. It was easy to forget now that it was peacetime that these were all former soldiers, veterans of a long war. But some attitudes die hard.

Eventually all the food was either eaten or had gone cold and congealed in the grease on the plates. Strategies were devised and plans of action made. Mara glanced at her crono and saw she only had fifteen minutes to the first negotiation session of the day, but now she felt more prepped than for days and felt confident there was a way through the previously intransient problems. She thanked the Organa-Solo’s and got up to leave. The rest of them also got up, Winter and Leia also realizing they needed to get off to their own meetings, and Han starting to clear away the mess from breakfast with help from C-3PO. Across the room, Luke also got up and gently laid the twins one at a time in their shared crib. “Wait up a moment, Mara,” he called from across the room. She paused at the door.

“Do you have any space in your schedule for some training today?” he asked mildly. With the hectic pace of negotiations over the last few days, the habitual daily session they had fallen into since Wayland had fallen by the wayside.

She frowned. “I don’t know,” she said regretfully. A little downtime would be welcome right now, but the talks were stretching long into the night. She faintly wondered when she’s started seeing the time with Luke as ‘downtime’.

“Nothing at all?” he asked mildly, sounding a little disappointed.

“Well…” she pursed her lips. “I do have gym time scheduled in still. That’s non-negotiable. But if we can make the session today some lightsaber practice, I guess that counts as gym time?”

His eyes flicked down to his – no _her_ – lightsaber at her belt and then smiled back up at her. She could sense how pleased he was. “That sounds like a plan. Comm me when you get out.”

She nodded, and palmed the door key.


	2. Chapter 2

Mara shifted her balance from one foot to another, lightsaber out in front of her, evaluating what his next move would be. It was mid-evening, but this was just a break in the negotiations. Everyone else around the table was probably eating or reviewing notes, but she’d instead opted for the promised sparring session. The talks had gone better today after the Organa-Solo’s suggestions, but she still had a lot of frustration to work out and nothing was as good for that as exercise.

“You’re too tense,” Luke commented. “You’re communicating way too much because of the tension in your posture. I can read you easily.”

“That’s because this job is making me tense, farmboy!” she bit out, and flew in at him again, striking quick hard blows in at his defenses, hoping her speed and agility would get her past. It was useless of course, and he just batted them away with a smile of amusement. He was right of course, damn him.

“You need to centre yourself. Feel calm, at peace. Then the Force will guide your actions.”

She stopped and lowered her blade for a moment, giving him a hard stare. “I don’t want to feel at peace right now, Skywalker. I want to work off some frustration.”

He raised an eyebrow at that, finding it amusing in some way she didn’t quite catch. “Lightsaber practice probably isn’t the best way to resolve that you know.”

She brought her blade up again and struck back in.

“What’s…”

The blades connected and Luke stepped back under the force of it.

“…that…”

She struck again and again, pressing her advantage, making him retreat back across the floor.

“…supposed…”

He parried back, ducking under her blade as it started to swing out of her control, displaying an agility that surprised her.

“…to mean?!”

He grabbed her wrist from behind her and she found herself twisted around and up against the wall of the practice area in a move better suited to her hand to hand combat training. The only part of him that touched her was the hand on her wrist – not even his real hand, she recalled – but she felt his heavy breath on her face. Ten different ways to twist out of the position and turn the tables on him again passed through her mind, but for some reason she just stayed in place, breathing hard.

To her surprise, he laughed gently, _kindly_. It wasn’t a cruel sound, and it confused her. He was nothing like the instructors of her past.

“Only that it’s very hard to use a lightsaber well without drawing on the Force. And that is better done when centered and calm. If you use it to vent frustration, anger… you could come close to drawing on the dark side. And that’s not a good idea.” He released her hand, and she let it drop, lightsaber extinguishing. “If you need catharsis, you’d be better off finding another outlet.” He stepped back, the tension of the moment seeping away.

“What do you use?” she asked with narrowed eyes. They walked slowly back to the centre of the practice area. Luke shrugged in that farmboy way of his.

“Well, obviously, there’s meditation. That’s the way Jedi are taught to manage their emotions. But I also like to tinker – with machinery, droids, my ship, whatever. I find the process of using my hands and working through the logic of it very soothing for some reason. Have done since I was a kid.” He glanced at her. “Do you have anything like that?”

She shrugged uncomfortably.

“You said your gym time was your non-negotiable time of the day. What about that?” he pressed.

“Yes, I suppose,” she conceded. “I was always taught to make sure I stay at my physical peak. You can’t let that drop, even for a day. If not on a mission, I always exercise, no matter what.”

“That doesn’t sound like catharsis, more like duty and routine.”

“I suppose not. I do enjoy exercise though. Everything is more simple when things are just… physical.”

Luke nodded. “My master used to use physical exercise as a conduit towards clearing the mind.”

“As you say though, it’s not catharsis. For that… I suppose dancing does that for me.”

“You dance?” He sounded surprised.

“Of course. I was taught from a young age. It made for a useful cover, and is an excellent form of physical conditioning and discipline. But I enjoyed… enjoy the outlet it gives me. For, um, expression.” The last was hard to confess to out loud.

“I’d like to see that,” Luke said quietly.

Mara snorted and looked at him like he was mad. “I’m not dancing for you, farmboy. Or anyone else.”

“Sorry. I just thought, if you’re feeling frustrated and need an outlet right now, that might help.”

“Not a chance.” She closed the subject by settling into engarde position and igniting her lightsaber again. Luke shrugged in defeat and followed her lead, and they resumed their practice.

 

* * *

 

With the most contentious points getting resolved piece by piece, the negotiations started to settle into a more regular routine, sorting through the more intricate details. Strategy sessions with the Organa-Solo’s had become less necessary, and yet the breakfast meetings continued, somehow becoming part of Mara’s routine. After a couple of weeks, she seemed to have been accepted into the family’s morning routine, and she didn’t even know _how_ to extricate herself from the arrangement anymore. It seemed to be just expected that she would turn up each morning, and she had to admit the food was good and filling – at least when Han was cooking.

Luke was a regular attendee at family breakfast too, and other friends such as Wedge Antilles, who Mara had met briefly before, often dropped in when they were around. It seemed to be that the Solo’s, with their hectic lives and endless crisis, kept their social lives and friendships intact through the eternal act of sharing food together – even if the only opportunity to do that was breakfast. It sometimes reminded Mara of meals in the mess room with Karrde’s crew, just with added babies, political gossip, and general chaos.

Force practice sessions with Luke fell into a more regular pattern again, often with Leia in attendance as well, when her duties allowed. Mara found herself bemused by the life Luke led, now that there were no imminent crises his Jedi skills were needed to avert.

“What do you actually _do_ all day?” she blurted out abruptly one day when they were having some caf together after one of his training sessions.

“Do?” he looked at her quizzically. “How do you mean ‘do’?”

“Well, you know, what do you do with all your time when you’re not being sent off on some mission for the New Republic? You seem to just be hanging round the Palace all the time at the moment.”

He laughed. “Oh, I see what you mean. Yes I suppose it must look like that. After all, what’s a Jedi Knight without a Jedi Order?” He took a sip of that sweet chocolate concoction he seemed to enjoy – a child’s drink, she’d always thought. At least, on Coruscant it was. “Which is really the answer to the question, of course. I mean, I get dragged into all sorts of things for the government – sometimes just trotting out their Jedi for the look of it, which is no end of annoying, but also sometimes to utilize my abilities. But at the moment, mostly, I’m trying to work out how to re-establish that order. So I’m not just the last anymore.”

“Oh. So how do you do that?”

“Well, that’s the thing. The Empire destroyed as much as physically possible of the Jedi - the Temple, the archives, holocrons, everything they could. But bits and pieces survive. I didn’t train long enough to learn directly from my master all the history and traditions of the order, so I’m trying to find everything I can and piece it back together – work it all out again.”

“So… you’re trying to recreate what existed before?”

“Yes, I suppose so. But of course the order is nothing with just history books. I need to find people too – other Force sensitives – to join the order. Having you and Leia of course is a great step forward – I’m not on my own any more.” He smiled that open smile of his at her and placed a hand on hers, and the rejection of his assumption she would be part of his new order stuck in the back of her throat. He was so full of hope, a sensation that was so alien to her, it was hard to crush that. She found she enjoyed their chats together, his open and easy nature new to her. This must be what a normal friendship is like, she thought. 


	3. Chapter 3

Not for the first time, it occurred to Mara that Luke might have a slightly bizarre sense of humour. She was balancing upside down on her hands, facing in a triangle formation the famed Rebel and Jedi Luke Skywalker and the senior New Republic leader Leia Organa Solo doing the same. A range of random objects floated around them. It was frankly surreal.

“I can feel your thoughts drifting Mara. Stay focused,” came Luke’s admonition, as he simultaneously swayed a leg out to one side while lifting the opposite hand off the ground to leave him balanced on just the other hand. _Show off,_ she thought at him, and could swear she saw a slight quirk of his lips in response, despite his closed eyes.

Leia wasn’t faring as well at the task though. She was barely managing to stay upright on just two hands with a great deal of sweating and grunting. For Mara, with her background in extreme physical training and her regular workouts, the task was challenging but not impossible. In her teens she would have found the physical aspect to be nothing compared to the difficulty of the Force aspect, although she had to confess the physical part was now more challenging than it had once been. For Leia, who whilst usually physically fit had never had that kind of athletic and gymnastic training, and what’s more whose body was still recovering from childbirth just a few months before, the task was far beyond her physical ability.

“Remember, if you can harness the Force, it will take away your awareness of the physical discomfort, strengthen your limbs, and open you up to what is around you. Leia, you need to stop focusing on the sensation in your arms, but instead focus on your relationship with what is _around_ you.”

Leia just grunted, and then a moment later collapsed in a pile on the ground with a loud selection of swear words that were a surprise coming from a royal mouth. A couple of small objects near to her fell to the floor with a thud. Mara eyed Luke for his reaction, wondering whether to roll out of her own position in sympathy. An almost imperceptible sigh went through his body, and objects gently floated to the ground as he brought legs and arms together to finish the exercise. Mara tried to lower the few things she’d been levitating with questionable success, and rolled out of her handstand with a grace born out of long practice rather than any Force ability.

“I’m sorry Luke, I just cannot do this at the moment!” Leia bit out with frustration, pushing herself up and walking over to pick up a towel that was now pooled in the middle of the floor. She wiped her brow, avoiding making eye contact with her brother.

“It’s alright Leia,” Luke soothed calmly. “I know it seems impossible on the outside. I wasn’t used to these kinds of acrobatics before I started training under Yoda either. The secret is in realizing that this isn’t a physical task, but a mental one. The muscle strength in your arms is irrelevant if you just allow the Force to strengthen and guide your actions.”

“I just don’t think this is where my natural abilities lie!”

“Well, that’s why we need to work on honing them. You’re already good at manipulating the Force in matters concerning the mind – you’ve probably been doing that for years without even realizing it, enhancing your natural leadership skills. It’s this ability to channel the Force in physical ways that really needs work.”

“Well maybe I’m just not ready for that yet.”

Mara eyed the twins carefully, not sure if she should get involved in the discussion. She understood the principles of what Luke meant. In fact, her own limited training in the Force under Palpatine had focused to a great extent on this enhancement of her physical abilities, to make her a better killer.  That and her ability to communicate directly with him. But she had learnt those skills throughout an entire childhood of training. Leia had been training over a number of years, on and off, it was true, but she had nothing like the physical grounding needed for this sort of thing. Mara wondered if Luke was being unfair.

“Does it really matter?” she asked him. “Does she really need to master the physical side of things, to be a Jedi?”

Her words broke the confrontation between the siblings. Luke frowned.

“I don’t know. I _think_ so, if you’re to have true mastery of the Force. I don’t think it’s a pick and choose what you want kind of thing.”

“You don’t _think?”_ Mara asked. “Don’t you know?”

Luke looked between the two women. “In all honesty, no. I’ve told you this before. My training was so short – and it did focus on this kind of physical ability, to prepare me to battle…” He left ‘Vader’ and ‘the Emperor’ unsaid, but they all knew. “And I know from my research that the Jedi of old were capable of some amazing physical feats. And even if you don’t proactively go off into battle, it will also help you to keep safe, keep the twins safe. But is it necessary? I don’t honestly know.”

Mara felt a mix of sympathy and frustration. What were they even all doing there? She didn’t know why Leia, one of the most influential politicians in the Galaxy, would want to consider putting that aside to be a Jedi. She didn’t even know why she herself was still sticking around, letting Luke teach her, when this was the ideal time in her life to put all that behind her and walk away from the Force and all the dark influence it had had over her life once and for all.

She examined Luke, who was looking unusually non-plussed. For some reason it was so very hard to walk away from this man and all his hopes and aspirations for something new. It would be letting him down, in some way. Mara shook her head at her own thoughts. _I don’t owe him anything,_ she told herself sternly.

“Let’s leave it for today,” Leia said with a great sigh. “I’m just tired and haven’t had much sleep with the babies…. It’ll go better next time, I’m sure.” She stepped over to Luke and laid a reassuring hand on his arm, which he gratefully turned into a brief conciliatory embrace.

Mara watched them, feeling a strange trace of… what? Envy? What must it be like to be so close, to have _family?_

Again she shook the thought away. Spending all this time with the Organa-Solo’s seemed to be getting to her. She really needed to snap out of it.

 


	4. Chapter 4

About three weeks in, Karrde arrived back on planet. He’d left as soon as his Vornskrs, Sturm and Drang, had recovered from their injuries on Wayland, mainly to get out to visit his crews in person to calm their jitters since he’d dropped out of circulation to go after her. It had also been to let Mara have the space to establish herself as liaison without seeming to have her strings pulled by him – there needed to be some illusion of independence, even though she was currently still employed by him.

The Wild Karrde docked just before dawn and he commed her immediately. Of course Karrde was used to her being up from the crack of dawn, and didn’t know her daily routine had changed lately. He asked her to come over to meet on board ship straight away.

When she wandered into his small office, he looked up from his datapad and clocked the strong cup of caf in her hand, and had the decency to look a little apologetic.

“Ah Mara, I’m sorry, I’m still on ship time and it’s midday here. I hope I didn’t drag you out of bed.”

“Don’t worry about it, it was time to be up anyway.”

“Have you had breakfast? I’m about ready for lunch now anyway, I can have something brought up.”

“Sure.”

“So how are things progressing?” he asked.

“Well, you’ve seen all the meeting summaries I presume? The key points were pinned down two weeks ago, now it’s all just bickering over details.”

“Of course. I hope they’re not driving you too far round the bend?”

“I knew what I was getting into. The smugglers are exactly what you’d expect, so that doesn’t bother me so much. The New Republic datapushers are pretty annoying though. It’s like they don’t _want_ anything to ever get done. If they had their way, any information we pass on to the NRI would have to go through so many administrative layers that it would be utterly out of date and useless by the time it reached anyone who could do anything with it.”

“Lucky we have a direct route into their leadership, then, should anything be that urgent.”

“Well yes, but going through Leia would bring internal politics into it, which would have other repercussions. She wants to make sure it can get through official channels efficiently so we don’t have to negotiate our way round that each and every time.” Karrde’s eyebrows raised fractionally at her familiar use of Leia’s name, and she kicked herself for the slip.

“And of course, politicians rise and fall, so it’s best to have a more solid foundation to any agreements,” he commented. “If we’re to restructure our work around this arrangement, we need to be sure the financial agreement is thoroughly tied down.”

Mara’s crono beeped, her usual reminder to head out to the Solo’s apartment. “Damn,” she said. “Excuse me, just need to make a quick call.” Her boss gestured for her to go ahead. She flicked her personal comm round to the Solo’s link. Han answered. “Hi, afraid I can’t make it this morning. Something came up. No, nothing to worry about, just Karrde is back in town. No, tell him should be fine as usual for later.” She clicked it off again, aware of Karrde’s curious scrutiny of the conversation. The man was too nosy for his own good. Which of course was what made him so good at what he did.

“Been making friends?” he asked mildly.

“Just cultivating those connections you’re so pleased about.”

“Hmm. You’ve been continuing developing your… abilities with Skywalker as well?”

She shifted in her chair uncomfortably. “Yes.”

He looked at her thoughtfully. “How far are you planning to take that?”

“Take what?”

“This business with the Force. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very useful skill for a smuggler to have, but I can’t imagine Skywalker is thinking he’s doing that to help you be a better criminal.”

“It’s none of his business what I do with it. He doesn’t have to teach me if he doesn’t want to.”

“Has he asked you to become a Jedi?”

She looked away. “Not exactly.”

“Is he just assuming?”

“I… I’m not sure.”

“Do you _want_ to be a Jedi?”

Despite the urge to give a resounding ‘No!’ in response, for some reason she kept her mouth closed shut. None of this was any of Karrde’s business.

“I bring this up because we really need to discuss your future with my organization.”

“What?”

He sighed. “Mara, I’m currently still paying your wages. I was grooming you to be my second in command. You know how much I want you to stay with us; you are a credit to the organization. However, if you are to continue on this path to becoming a Jedi, it is fundamentally incompatible with our line of business. You’re going to have to make a choice Mara. And better now, when this liaison opportunity offers you a good way out. We can negotiate your pay into the deal.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re asking me to choose between you and him?” Anger was entering her voice.

Karrde exhaled forcefully. “No, Mara not at all. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I simply want you to consider the reality of your situation – and choices – before they cause you problems.” He leant forward over his desk. “I don’t want you to leave. I really don’t. You’re one of my most valuable assets, and dare I say it, a friend. If I’m honest, the situation annoys me because I don’t want it to take you away from us. But as your friend, I also want you to do what’s right – for you.” It was probably the closest to an emotional appeal that Karrde got to.

“Alright,” she said. “I’ll think about it. But I’ve not made any commitment to this Jedi thing, you know. I can walk away at any time.”

“Of course,” he said, and leant back in his chair, letting the topic drop.


	5. Chapter 5

Luke strolled into his sister’s apartment and scooped up Jaina from her cot, where she was squalling for attention. A couple of bounces and she had a beautiful smile for him. He turned and took her over to the dining table to join the assembled crowd for breakfast.

A table with a conspicuously empty space. “Where’s Mara?” he asked, before pausing to wonder when they’d got to the point that that was an automatic question to ask.

“She commed a few minutes ago,” Han said around a mouthful of toast. “Karrde’s just landed, so she can’t make it this morning. Guess she’s still at his beck and call, eh?” Han grinned at him as though he found something in Luke’s expression amusing. “Don’t worry, she’s still on for later though.”

“Thanks Han.” Luke passed the baby girl to her mother and pulled up a chair in front of a plate heaving with steaming food.

Han cocked his head at him. “You two been spending a lot of time together recently,” he noted casually.

Luke shrugged, feeling his sister’s eyes studying him as she rocked Jaina on her shoulder. “With all of us, with all these negotiations going on. She’s progressing well in the Force. What held her back before is gone.”

“Uh huh. Everything’s gonna be signed and sealed pretty soon though, then it’ll be back to business as usual.”

“I suppose so,” Luke said. “But with her new role as liaison, Mara will still be able to continue her training here on Coruscant.”

Han and Leia exchanged a glance. “Well, that’s the thing, kid. The liaison role is by no means settled. In fact, they’ve barely started discussing it. It’s like Mara keeps putting it off. Right now, she’s still Karrde’s employee. And I’m not sure that’s going to change anytime soon.”

Luke stared down at his plate, chewing his food slowly. “It’s up to Mara to decide what she wants to do,” he said quietly, but he felt a hollow space in his gut. He didn’t want Mara to leave, not now he’d found another Force sensitive, a friend who understood something about what it was like. He’d thought she had wanted to learn to be a Jedi… If she returned to being a smuggler, that was impossible.

He felt Leia’s hand rest gently on his and looked up to see her sympathetic eyes. She was way too good at picking up on what he was feeling. “We just don’t want you getting your hopes up, Luke,” she said gently.

“I can’t make her be a Jedi if she doesn’t want to be,” he said, trying to sound like it didn’t matter to him.

“Huh. Yeah, that too,” Han snorted. Luke shot him a sharp look, not getting what he meant. “Look, I’m just saying, if you want the girl to stick around, you should tell her. Worked for me!” He shot Leia a sly grin.

“Oh, did it now?” she laughed. “That’s not quite how I remember it!”

“Hang on, Mara and I aren’t like that.” The married couple turned a shared skeptical look on him. “Seriously! Only a month or so ago she wanted to kill me! I’d be insane to even think of her like… in that light!”

“She did manage to fight against that urge. Very hard actually.” Leia commented mildly.

“Even so, she’d eviscerate me if she even thought for a moment I thought of her like that!”

“Aha!” Han waved a fork at him triumphantly. “So you do see her like that!”

“What?! No! I don’t at all!” Unbidden, a memory flashed into his mind of Myrkr, Mara’s long form pressed against him, arm around him with gun pressed to his jaw as they hid in the undergrowth from Imperials. He shook the odd memory away. “It would be completely inappropriate if I want her to study under me and become a Jedi.”

“Under you, aha!” Han chortled. He seemed to be enjoying himself far too much in this conversation. For a war hero and father of two, Han could still be such a child sometimes.

“Han, leave him alone,” Leia warned her husband. Thank goodness his twin could pick up when the subject was being pushed too far.

“Seriously, I’m not interested in her like that. And any suggestion I am would undoubtedly ruin the friendship we’ve got, so I’d be grateful if you would just drop it.”

“Of course Luke. We just don’t want you to get…” The word _hurt_ hung in the air between them. “… let down.” Leia finished lamely.

“Really, I’ll be fine.”

But as Luke later left their apartment and headed to the Imperial Palace Archives, he found their insinuations bothering him. Little flashes of memory of Mara drifted in and out of his mind – the jolt of feeling her mind for the first time on the Wild Karrde; then waking up to her hard green, angry eyes on Myrkr. The way she would so casually step into his personal space, usually to issue some kind of threat. He’d never found it threatening, but instead… somehow thrilling. He realised he’d been avoiding examining that sensation for rather a long time. When she turned up to save him from C’Boath and their three days in hyperspace, planning Karrde’s escape. The thrill… again, that sensation… as they’d broken into a star destroyer together to get the smuggler out. _What in space had made that seem like a good idea?!_ Being around her, he knew. He felt like he could do a lot of stupid things with Mara around. Then those moments when he’s thought her lost in the Katana fleet battle, and the relief when he’d found her drifting ejection seat. And then Wayland… _Wayland._

Luke shook his head, trying to shake himself out of his reverie. He needed to get down to the archives and focus on his work of the day. On finding other Force sensitives, particularly if Mara wasn’t going to stick around. He felt a jolt in his stomach at the thought. Things had seemed to be going so well, he’d felt so happy and full of hope for the first time in a long time…

His thoughts drifted unbidden to that evening on the roof of the Palace, after they’d got back from Wayland. His hand on hers, the memory of her skin under his, recalled so viscerally it shocked him. How he’d felt when she’d called out to him _“I’ll come with you.”_

He drew in a sharp breath at the realization.

Maybe Han was right.


	6. Chapter 6

Mara could feel the tension as soon as she stepped into the practice room. Something was bothering the usually irritatingly calm Jedi, and glancing around and seeing Leia was absent yet again, Mara was pretty sure she could guess why. On the days Leia didn’t show up because of whatever political crisis had turned up that day of the week, Mara could feel Luke’s frustration.

“Leia too busy for practice again?”

“If she’s to progress, she needs the chance to focus on _this_ ,” he said irritably, gesturing for Mara to come and settle in mediation pose opposite him. “The council on the one hand insists that re-establishing the Jedi order is the greatest priority, but then on the other hand won’t let my most promising student actually study.”

Mara raised her eyebrows. “Are you sure she’s really that committed? If she really wanted to do it, she could take a leave of absence, surely.”

“She’s asked for that in the past, they never agree to it.”

“Your sister’s a free woman, you know. They can’t really hold her in her political position if she doesn’t want it.”

He sighed heavily. “It’s not that simple. She feels a sense of duty to everything she’s worked so hard to build.”

“Of course.” Mara paused. “Maybe her political work is more important to her than your Jedi dreams.”

He looked at her sharply. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just… you always assume every Force sensitive would automatically want to be a Jedi. But I’m not seeing many arguments for why they would.” Luke looked hurt, and confused. She felt bad, and like she needed to explain further. “Look, the old Jedi weren’t all that great. There were lots of things about the old order that just didn’t work.”

“You’re basing that on the Imperial propaganda you were brought up with.”

Mara shook her head. “No. Don’t get me wrong, I know the propaganda stories. But as an agent, I was also really good at picking out the truth from inside it.” _Not so good at picking out the lies Palpatine told her_ , a bitter thought betrayed her. But she pressed on. “A lot of things said about the Jedi were nonsense… but some of it was true. How do you think Palpatine got away with having them eliminated? The populace was already ready to suck up those stories. The old order _was_ distant and remote from the people they were supposed to serve. They _did_ interfere in politics. They… they took young children from their families to become Jedi, and made them sever all ties, all attachments.” Her voice dropped low at that last part, feelings and memories she usually tried to suppress rising up to the surface. “People were ready to hate them, Skywalker. It just took someone stepping in and taking advantage of that.”

“Is that why you’d rather be a smuggler than a Jedi?” he asked abruptly.

She blinked. “Excuse me?” There was something in his tone she didn’t like, and she found herself wondering how he could have possibly known what she’d discussed with Karrde that morning.

He shook his head. “Never mind. Let’s get on with the exercise.”

She decided to let it drop. “What are we doing today?”

“Well, since it’s just the two of us today, I thought we’d experiment with this communications talent of yours.”

“Talent?”

“Well, you said before that was your great skill. That you could hear _his_ voice across the Galaxy. The Emperor kept your Force abilities under tight control and never allowed you to develop them independently, but I have a theory that this was really _your_ great natural talent, not something he gave you. I’d like to see if we can develop that.”

“Alright. What have you got in mind?”

“Let’s keep it simple to start with, and just practice talking mind to mind.”

“Isn’t that easy? I’ve experienced your sister do it on Wayland, and I’m pretty sure you and her do it all the time.”

“Well yes, but I think that’s mainly to do with our close family relationship. Most of my experience of this kind of communication has been with family members. Without that connection… well, it’ll be interesting to see how it works.”

“Alright then, lets get started. What do you want us to do, close our eyes and hold hands?”

Luke looked strangely abashed at the suggestion. “Um no, I doubt that’s necessary. Just close your eyes and channel the Force and um, see if you can talk to me without opening your mouth.”

She closed her eyes and opened herself to the Force, reaching out towards his familiar, open sense. She felt him reach back, and their minds gently touched. _Hello farmboy,_ Mara sent mockingly. A sense of warmth came back to her, like one of his bright smiles translated into pure feeling.

_Hello,_ he returned. The word and his warmth were like an invitation to step further in to his consciousness. She stretched out her senses in wonder at the way he _glowed_ in the Force, his connection to it so intense and all consuming, it felt almost intoxicating. _No wonder he assumes everyone would want this,_ she thought. His happy laughter in her mind made her realize he’d heard the thought. _Stang it, Skywalker, that’s not fair!_ She almost withdrew abruptly at the realization she wasn’t very good at keeping her own thoughts to herself, but then she was hit with such a sense of wonder from him and she felt drawn in again, trying to work out what had prompted this reaction. She peered through the Force into his thoughts… and saw herself reflected back from him, laughing, beautiful, captured in his gaze, a woman she didn’t even recognize in herself except from the certain knowledge from his sense that this was how _he_ perceived _her._

She closed down her Force sense and withdrew abruptly, opening her eyes to stare incredulously at him. His eyes opened slowly and regarded her calmly, waiting for a response.

She pushed herself to her feet, thinking only to get far away from this place, from his eyes.

“Mara, wait,” he said, getting up and reaching out to her. “I’m sorry. We should have practiced reinforcing your mental shields first, before trying that. It was too… freeform.”

She turned on him. “What the kriff was that, Skywalker? Is that how you see me?”

“Yes,” he said simply, openly. “Does it really surprise you, that others see you in a better light than you perceive yourself?”

“That wasn’t a ‘better light’! That was… I don’t even know what that was! What is _wrong_ with you, for kriff’s sake?”

He shook his head. “There’s nothing _wrong_ with how I see you, Mara. I’m sorry, but I’m glad you had a chance to see it too.” He took a step towards her.

They were face to face now, so close she could feel his breath on her face. She wanted to turn and walk away, but somehow couldn’t. She told herself it was because she wouldn’t be the one to lose, _he_ should back down. But back down from what? She wasn’t trying to kill him now.

What in the hells _was_ she trying to do with him?

And before she had the chance to sort that thought out in her head, his lips were on hers, kissing her hard, as though he could convey everything they’d felt in that brief bond again through touch, and her hand came up to touch the side of his face and hold him closer to her…

And she broke away, her previous thought finally coalescing into rationality again and realizing she just had to get away.

“What the kriff is _wrong_ with you?” she said again, and turned and stalked out of the practice room.


	7. Chapter 7

The deal between the New Republic and the Smugglers Alliance was very close to being signed and sealed, and work on it now stretched into the late hours again as the key stakeholders in the deal arrived on planet to try and push their pet points back into the deal one last time. Mara found herself tired and irritable, which was strange as long working hours didn’t usually bother her. Of course those long hours didn’t usually involve being trapped in a negotiating room all day with annoying bureaucrats.

On the positive side, it did at least mean there was no time for Jedi practice, which made it considerably easier to avoid Skywalker. He’d tried to get her to meet him, of course, but it had been easy enough to brush him off with a quick few words about how busy she was. She felt bad about it – it wasn’t that she  _didn’t_  want to see him, as such, in fact she was missing their daily conversations – but she needed some time away after that… whatever it was. The idea that Luke saw her like that, on top of all the other changes going on at the moment, the other decisions she needed to make, was just too much for her to process right now.

The session finally came to a close and the tired group of negotiators filed out of the conference room, each looking for a late supper and probably late night debriefings between their teams before bed. Mara gathered her datapads, leaving the room last so that she could observe any post meeting conversations that were developing between different parties. It was dark outside, with the never ending flash of multitudes of speeder lights moving outside the broad windows, and as she stepped out of the room, the lighting dipped automatically, leaving only that stunning vista behind her.

“Hey Mara,” came a familiar voice from outside. Mara turned her gaze towards it, spotting Han Solo seated casually on a bench outside the conference room. She frowned at him in confusion.

“Solo,” she nodded to him. “What are you doing here this late?”

“Waiting for you, obviously,” he said with his familiar quirk to his lips. Then he sat up and shrugged. “Leia sent me. She wants to hear from you how the deal’s going at this late stage, and you’ve been missing breakfast lately.”

“I didn’t realise it’s compulsory, Solo. I’ve just not had the time, I’ve been working all hours on this.”

“Uh huh,” he looked at her skeptically. “But, you know, I thought our breakfast meetings  _were_  useful for working on this?”

She avoided his gaze.

“Hey look, tell you what, why don’t we go grab a drink somewhere and you can bring me back up to speed?”

Mara almost refused, but reasoned if she caught him up tonight, it would give her enough excuse to avoid breakfast with the whole family in the morning. “Alright. Where were you thinking of?”

“Dunno. Not somewhere in this part of the palace – all the bars in this place are so sterile. Did you have any favourites when you lived here?”

She snorted. “They’ve probably all changed completely since then. It was a long time ago. But… there were staff bars, actually, on the lower floors, that managed a bit of atmosphere. The lack of pretention I think. Might be nice to see how those are faring these days.”

“Ok, show me the way.”

As they made their way down in the turbolifts, Mara briefly sketched out the state of negotiations. It  _was_  good to get Han’s feedback on things, she thought sadly, feeling a little foolish for cutting them out just because Luke… confused her. The conversation of course drifted on to a discussion of the foibles of smugglers familiar to them both, which was deeply cathartic to joke about, and they were laughing together as they settled on stools at the staff bar in the deeper depths of the Palace building. The lighting was kept intentionally dark and the walls were the cavern-like stone that made up the foundations of the gargantuan building. It felt like a different world – like they could be out in some smugglers' dive on the rim somewhere, not in the heart of galactic government.

“So Booster turns up with this damned pelt that he insists is some priceless – and contraband – relic of an extinct species, and the vornskrs just went nuts at the thing! You should have seen the look on Karrde’s face as they ripped the damned thing apart and sent animal hair all over the  _Wild Karrde’s_ bridge. The crew was sneezing for months, and Karrde’s sworn never to let the man on his ship again…”

Han was guffawing at the image. “Booster really does live up to his reputation, doesn’t he? Is that why he’s stayed out of these negotiations – avoiding Karrde’s ship cleaning bill?”

“Yeah, maybe, although I think it’s more that he likes to go his own way. He and Karrde have this weird friendship/rivalry thing going back years, and I think being on the same team would entirely ruin the fun of that for both of them!” They were just finishing their second drinks and Han signaled for another. Mara narrowed her eyes at his turned back. Was he trying to get her drunk? Or maybe just make her more talkative or something. Whatever it was, he was out of luck.

“Speaking of weird friendships,” Han segued entirely unsubtly as he handed her the next drink, “how you getting on with the kid these days?”

She stared into her drink. “What, Skywalker?” she said as casually as possible. “Fine. I’m not feeling any urges to kill him anymore, if that’s what you mean.”

He raised eyebrows at her knowingly. “We both know that’s way behind you now. You know exactly what I mean.”

She gave him a hard look. “No. I don’t.”

“On come on. First you were spending all your spare time with him, now suddenly you won’t go anywhere near him.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why, what’s he said to you?”

He gave her an innocent look. “Nothing. Or I wouldn’t be asking you.”

Suddenly tired of it, she threw back the rest of the drink, swallowed hard, and started to push her stool back. “It’s late. I have to be up early and fresh with it. See you sometime Solo.”

“Mara, wait.” He put a hand on her arm to stop her from rising, and she shot him a look that made it clear such an invasion of her personal space was likely to find him face down on the bar in an arm lock. He removed the hand gingerly. “I don’t mean to interfere. No, actually, I totally do. Honestly, Mara, I don’t know whatever it is the kid’s done to put his foot in it with you, but you gotta cut him a break. I haven’t seen him so happy for a long time till you turned up. Now…”

“It’s not my job to make Skywalker happy,” she bit out.

“No, no, of course not. But you seemed to be pretty happy too – with this new job, being on Coruscant, hanging round with us lot – and him. Studying to be a Jedi.”

“I am  _not_  studying to be a Jedi!” she retorted.

“Really? Well you’ve sure been acting like you were! Are you really gonna drop that and let the kid down?”

“I’ve never promised him anything, Solo! I don’t know where you all get your delusions…”

“Seriously Mara, what is so wrong with the idea of you both being happy?”

“You have no idea what makes me happy,” she spat, and turned and walked out.

As she stalked off, it bothered her to realise that she had no idea what made her happy either.


	9. Chapter 9

It was a small soiree, an opportunity for the various signatories and staff who had worked on the Smugglers Alliance agreement to socialize and pretend to all be friends and allies now that the whole thing was signed and sealed. The party was taking place in Leia Organa-Solo’s apartment, in formal rooms that Mara hadn’t seen before because apparently the Solo’s didn’t like using them day-to-day. It wasn’t an official New Republic function because the whole deal was being kept as far under the public sensors as possible. After all, the official government working with criminals to source information and extra shipping capacity was not exactly something to shout from Coruscant’s rooftops. But the private nature of the party was a reminder to Mara how far from mainstream society she still was.

Karrde stepped over to her and handed her a tall drink. Mara looked at it suspiciously and gave it a sniff, then wrinkled her nose at the obvious alcohol content.

“Ah, come now Mara,” he said. “You can relax and enjoy a drink. Your job is over for now and you don’t even need to get up early tomorrow unless you want to. We won’t be taking off till midafternoon. Try to enjoy yourself and accept all the congratulations on the good job you’ve done.”

Mara shot him a raised eyebrow at the effusive (for him) praise, but took a sip anyway. It was some bittersweet cocktail, but clearly included some good Corellian brandy, so she wasn’t complaining. She glanced round the room. There were only about thirty people present, but then the reception room in the private apartment wasn’t that large. It was odd, as the officials that had been so snooty and suspicious of all these fringe types during the talks now seemed giddy with excitement to be mixing with such thrilling company. The effect of a few drinks and some good tall story telling, she supposed. She noticed in one corner one of the more uptight New Republic datapushers was lapping up every word Gillespie had to say and looked entirely enamored in a way she would never have expected from the way they had bickered down in the conference rooms.

“Looks like you’re going to have to actually socialize, Mara.” Karrde nodded towards Mazzic, who was closing in on them with that exotic companion of his in tow. Shada, Karrde had said she was called. Mara examined her speculatively, remembering what he had told her about how the woman had got the drop on him on Hijarna. Her lips quirked, amused that even Karrde could get caught out by a distractingly attractive woman. This was not a woman to be underestimated.

However Shada kept quiet now and played her usual role, hanging on Mazzic’s arm as he opened the conversation.

“Good job, Mara,” he drawled, looking her up and down in a way she wasn’t entirely happy with. She knew it was part of the persona he liked to put across… but still. “So you decided whether you’re staying on yet? We’ve got a good package built in there for you, if you take up the position.”

“I’m considering my options,” she replied blandly.

“Aww, c’mon, don’t let this boring old git keep you to himself! We need you in there – otherwise some annoying New Republic bureaucrat will get the role! Making this thing work is gonna take more than just getting everyone to sign – we need someone we trust – one of us – to co-ordinate it all.”

“I said I’m thinking about it.”

Mazzic turned to Karrde. “Let me guess, you’re offering her some big pay rise not to go? Can’t blame you really!”

Karrde smiled politely. “I wasn’t, but now you’ve given her that idea, undoubtedly I’ll have to. Thanks for that, Mazzic.”

Mazzic just laughed heartily, and then turned at some disruption at the doorway. Mara glanced over.

Luke Skywalker had just entered the party.

She swore lightly. “What the kriff is he doing here?”

Karrde glanced at her mildly. “Well, he was a crucial part of getting this started, even if he has kept out of the way of the talks.”

“I doubt the fringe really wants to be reminded that the great Jedi, symbols of law and justice in the Galaxy, have anything to do with this,” she said sourly. “He should have kept well away.”

“Well, it is a party run by his sister,” Karrde said. He looked amused, and it annoyed her. “Nobody would expect her not to invite her own brother, I’m sure.” Mara just scowled, and tried to sink further back into the corner they were loitering near. She watched as Luke was greeted by Han, Leia and Chewbacca, and was then led round by Leia introducing him to various parties that had been instrumental in the agreement. He had at least had the sense not to dress in Jedi robes, instead opting for a simple black shirt and dark brown trousers. It was strange to see him in this context – all bright smiles and friendly chatting and putting people at their ease. Even the hardened smugglers seemed to be lapping it up, meeting the famous Luke Skywalker, destroyer of Death Stars.

Karrde apparently noticed it too. “Nothing like a reputation as the best star fighter pilot in the Galaxy to impress a bunch of smugglers,” he noted mildly.

She tore her eyes away from Skywalker, embarrassed Karrde had been so easily able to read where her thoughts were drifting. “They’re easily impressed,” she said with a snort. But the truth was, seeing the way they reacted to him as he was paraded round the room as a hero and celebrity was disconcerting and left her feeling strangely intimidated. And _nothing_ intimidated Mara Jade.

“Mara.” Leia appeared at her elbow. “I hope you’re enjoying the spoils of your labour?” She gave Mara a quirky little smile she must have picked up from her husband. “By which of course I mean I hope you’re enjoying the party. Everyone seems very impressed with your work, you should be pleased with yourself.”

“Thank you Leia,” she replied. “I couldn’t have done it without you and Han’s help.” She said it with genuine gratitude and felt a little bad for avoiding Leia the last few days. She was a valuable ally.

Leia just smiled warmly and turned to Karrde. “You must be pleased with how this has all turned out.”

“Well yes. For all the smuggler bravado, a good contract and a guaranteed income is the real jackpot. And I expect to make a good profit from the whole arrangement.” He smiled his usual cool smile, but there was a bit of smugness in there. Karrde had taken a big gamble when he started bringing together this whole alliance of smugglers, one that had nearly cost him everything. He clearly took a great deal of satisfaction from how it had worked out.

“Of course, there’s still one last bit of business to finalise,” Leia gave Mara a meaningful look. “But here probably isn’t the place for it. Mara, could you possibly drop by my office tomorrow to have a chat about the liaison role?”

Mara considered her cautiously. She at least owed her a proper conversation about it. “Sure, but we’ll have to fit it in in the morning. The _Wild Karrde_ is scheduled to depart tomorrow afternoon.”

“Leaving so quickly?” a soft familiar voice came from behind her. Mara closed her eyes a moment before acknowledging him. Luke certainly did have a knack for timing.

“I’m afraid I have a lot of work to do to get our new operations running after the deal,” Karrde interjected smoothly.

Luke examined the man with hard eyes, but offered a smile in response. “Of course. This must all have been very disruptive to your usual work.”

“But of course we’re all very grateful for all the assistance you’ve given the New Republic recently,” Leia added quickly. “How are those animals of yours doing now?”

Karrde took up Leia’s blatant offer of a way to change the subject enthusiastically, going into a little more detail about Sturm and Drang’s recovery, general personalities and care needs than Mara thought _strictly_ necessary. She had to stand and politely listen to it as she realised she was boxed in to the corner by her three companions, Luke by her right arm. To move away she would have to push physically past him… which she found she desperately wanted to avoid.

“Of course, Mara and I had some interesting experiences with the creatures in the wild on Myrkr,” Luke added to the conversation, shooting a look with twinkling eyes. “I lost count of the number of times she shot the things off me.” Was he _enjoying_ the memory? She never would have thought that trip would become a pleasant party anecdote.

“They seem to be attracted to Force users. The stronger, the better. I think Karrde had a theory about that.” Mara elaborated.

“Oh yes. Sturm and Drang reacted especially strongly to your presence on my base there. I suspect they naturally hunt using the Force, and the ysalimiri have developed their properties as a means of eluding them. Fascinating really.” Of course, everyone in the small group already knew this theory, but such was the nature of small talk. “In light of that, Luke’s survival in the jungle there is all the more remarkable.”

“I have Mara to thank for that. I can’t think of a better person to have at my back.”

The conversation fell silent for a moment, everyone clearly turning over how they all knew Mara had felt about Luke back then, but no-one willing to mention it.

“Oh look, I think I need to rescue Han from that Mazzic chap,” Leia suddenly said, clearly surrendering in the face of the awkwardness. “Before he convinces him to go into partnership or something.” She turned to drift away.

“I’ll help you,” Karrde said blandly. “I need to talk to Mazzic about some business of our own.”

Mara found herself abruptly stuck in the corner with Luke. She glanced round for an excuse to escape.

“I mean it, you know” Luke said to her quietly. “That you’re the best person to have at my back. And I wonder how the vornskrs would react to you now. Your training has come on so far.”

She avoided his gaze. “Actually, Sturm and Drang do seem to be a little more volatile around me since they got back.”

“We might be able to do something about that, with practice. It would be interesting to experiment and see what would work to make them less aware of our presence.”

Her lips quirked at the thought of vornskr related experiments and found her eyes meeting Luke’s in spite of herself. His lips were quirking too and she knew he was imagining the same thing. “Okay, that may not be the best plan ever,” he conceded. They both laughed.

Damnit, why was it just so easy to be around him?

Luke hooked a couple more drinks from Artoo as he rolled past with a tray balanced on top and passed one to Mara. They fell into easy conversation, exchanging notes and commentaries on the people around them. It wasn’t like the bravado of her gossiping with Han at the bar; Luke had a kind but witty way of observing the people around him, clearly _interested_ in them all. It was a novel perspective on the universe that was only just starting to open up for Mara.

She found herself absently examining his features. He wasn’t good looking exactly – at least not to her tastes. Oh, she had seen the holos of him as a young pilot, back when she was studying him as a target, and he’d been the very image of the young chisel jawed rebel poster-boy back then. But the years of war and battle scars and who knew what he’d gone through with his father had taken their toll. Gone was the tanned youthful skin, and light scars traced his face from something or other that had happened to him over the years. The nose too, slightly out of place, and an odd looking mouth, almost too wide and generous, she thought. And yet those eyes, when she met them. That too wide mouth when transformed into a smile… for every critique she listed to herself, there was something arresting about that face anyway. The kindness, the sweetness – and the rock certain strength of a man who’d faced his demons and won.

She suddenly realised that the conversation had petered to a stop as she had been absorbed in thought, and they were just standing there staring at each other. He seemed very close now.

“I wanted to say sorry, Mara. For the other day,” he said softly. “But some how there hasn’t been an opportunity. Can we talk?”

She found something fluttered unfamiliarly in her stomach. “Sure,” she said softly.

He took her hand and led her out through a subtly placed side door, away from the party and into the darkened living space of the Solo’s apartment. Mara was grateful that he realised she wouldn’t want to talk about this in front of a whole room full of her colleagues.

They were in the open plan area that the Solo’s actually lived in now, the space familiar to her from all the breakfast meetings. Despite the sumptuous reception and dining area they had just left, the Solo’s preferred to spend their time in the more intimate space of the open plan kitchen/diner/lounge set up in here. It was a family area, where real lives could be lived, tangled up in each other. Now only low lights peeped out from the kitchen and along the corridor to where the bedrooms lay. They came to a stop beside the big table where the family shared all their meals. Mara waited for him to start speaking, say whatever it was he had to say, but nothing came out of his mouth, just eyes looking intently at her, as though trying to read her likely response before he even started. She became very aware of her hand still in his, of the texture of his skin, the firmness of his palm in hers.His real hand _,_ she noted absently.

He leaned in and she could _sense_ his desire, and felt herself respond, and as those to broad lips brushed over hers, she felt a wave sweep over her, a horrible realization of exactly what had been lurking beneath the surface all this time, denied inside her. And the kiss deepened, as though searching inside her for a response, and some deep part of her brought to the surface the question she’d always avoided: _why_ didn’t _you kill him?_ And faced with that truth at last, she gave him the response he searched for. She _wanted_ this so much, desired this so much, and had never allowed herself to realize it. She kissed him back, hard and passionate, pulling him back towards the table, so they were leaning against it, falling back onto it…

“Mara,” Luke gasped out, breaking the kiss, and pulling them back upright. His hands were cupped gently around her face, his face still hovering close to hers, examining her with a scrutiny she could hardly bare. “I’m so glad you’re here in my life. Please don’t go, please stay here and be with me, learn with me, be one of the first of the new Jedi…” Words were tumbling out of his mouth, unplanned and barely making sense.

Mara straightened up, trying to push the fog of desire away. “ _Jedi?”_ she said. That’s what he wanted to ask? He wanted a decision on this _now?_

“Yes, Mara, I want you to be part of my life, my plans…”

She pushed him firmly back from her now. “ _Your_ plans? Do I get to have any plans of my own?”

He blinked. “Well, do you have any plans, Mara? What _are_ you planning to do next?”

“I don’t know, Skywalker! I’ve only just been freed of this whole life-controlling Force-damned programming! I’ve no idea what I want next, but nobody seems to want to give me time to work it out! I’ve spent the last five years with my life revolving around you, and now the moment I’m freed, you want to make it all about you again!” She was furious at him, and furious at herself, furious at the part of her she’d just discovered that apparently _wanted_ to revolve her life around his again.

“That’s not it Mara! That’s not what I meant at all. Can you blame me for being happy to find someone like me and want to have you in my life?”

“You don’t know who I am! Shavit, _I_ don’t know who I am. How can you possibly say I’m like you?”

“Because I can feel it, Mara,” he pleaded. “We have a connection. I can feel it through the Force – and I can feel it every time I’m around you. I’m just happy when I’m around you. What is so very wrong with that?”

“I don’t really know what happiness is, Skywalker, and it’s nothing that’s ever bothered me to miss.” The look he gave her then was one of pity, and pity was one thing she could not stand. “Don’t assume to know who I am and what I want, Skywalker. And don’t assume that you’re a part of it.” She pushed off the counter and strode to the door, trying to block out the sense of anguish coming from behind her that Luke was doing nothing to hide. As she left the apartment, she felt relief at the door sliding shut behind her, and tried to push away the unfamiliar, mixed up feelings of anguish and desire that were now rising up inside her too.

_Damn him._


	10. Chapter 10

Mara dutifully walked into Leia's political office midmorning the next day. She'd said she'd be there, so she was. Mara Jade didn't break her promises, no matter how tempting or easy it would be.

A junior aide checked her appointment on a datapad and then ushered her into an inner room. Leia was just finishing some meeting with Winter, and both women's eyes flicked up at her entrance. She felt the white haired aide's cool evaluation, and not for the first time felt disconcerted at the fact that Winter could and would remember every detail of every contact they'd had. Did she and Leia sit around deconstructing every detail of every meeting they had? Probably. Mara found herself troubled by the realisation that Winter had been at the party the night before, and hoped the woman hadn't been paying any attention to her and Luke.

Leia herself was keeping her emotions carefully controlled through the Force, and Mara could get no read of her. The politician nodded to Winter that they were finished, and the aide gracefully sashayed out.

"Good morning, Mara. Please do take a seat." She gestured to the chair the other side of the desk. Mara complied, feeling like she was about to be interviewed. It was a change from their usual dynamic. Mara found herself wishing for the friendly, informal breakfasts.

"Thank you for coming last night. I think it went well, don't you? I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye." It was an obvious pry for information, but Mara didn't rise to it.

"Building such relationships is of course important if the deal is going to work long term," Leia continued. "These are drastically different people with very different world views; really this is just the beginning of the work to make it all stick. That's why the liaison role is so important."

Mara nodded. "And that's why you got it built into the deal," she provided. She'd kept out of that part of the negotiation, for the most part; in the end it had been Leia and Karrde that had made sure that there were provisions - and good recompense - built in at the last minute.

"And why we need to have the right person in the role." Leia cocked her head. "I know Karrde and his crew are due to fly out this afternoon. Have you come to a decision?" Typically direct.

"I'll be leaving with him," Mara confirmed firmly.

Leia nodded. "That's a pity. You are the preferred candidate on all sides. Even Karrde agrees you'd be the best choice, and he has the most to lose. May I ask why?" 

Mara shrugged uncomfortably. Part of her wanted to tell the woman it was nothing to do with her, but all her help - and growing friendship - over the last few weeks made Mara feel she owed her a bit more than that. "I have good prospects with Karrde's organisation. I'm already his second in command, with the opportunities that implies. It's not quite so clear what opportunities the liaison role offers me, in the long run."

Leia narrowed her eyes. "I'd have thought the liaison role offers you a wider range of prospects. It takes you out of the fringe and into the mainstream without sacrificing your fringe connections. You get to make new connections on Coruscant, particularly in NRI and the information gathering community, which is where your skills and experience obviously lie. All without making a big commitment either way. It would seem like a perfect opportunity for where you are right now in your life." 

Mara shook her head sadly. "It's just too much change, too soon. So much has happened, so quickly, I just need some space, some stability for a while."

"That doesn't seem like what I know of you Mara. I know you've been through a lot with Mount Tantis. But just a few weeks ago you seemed happy to take on this role. What's changed?"

Mara sighed, but said nothing. She didn't want to outright lie to Leia.

"Is this something to do with my brother?"

Mara just looked down.

Leia got up from behind her expansive desk, made her way across to a drinks tray on a sideboard and poured two glasses of what looked like simple water. She then went and seated herself on a comfortable chair in a more casual group of seats, setting the two glasses on the low table in front of her. The indication that the conversation had turned from a formal one to a more personal one was clear. Mara wondered briefly if that meant she could now get away with just walking out, but decided to opt out of that melodramatic approach and instead went over and joined Leia. The water was welcome anyway – her throat had suddenly gone very dry.

“I hope Luke’s not driving you too round the bend, Mara. He can be most single minded and even blinkered when he gets his sights set on something. Trust me, I know – particularly with this whole Jedi business.”

Relieved that was the direction the conversation was going, Mara agreed. “It just doesn’t seem to occur to him that being a Jedi isn’t the obvious choice, just because I’m Force sensitive. It’s… it’s just too soon to know if that’s want I want.”

Leia nodded. “I know what you mean. I’ve had five years to get used to the idea and think it over – and I don’t have a solid answer yet!” 

“You don’t?” 

“No. I mean, I _do_ want to learn, and help him rebuild his order, and rebuilding a functional Jedi Order is important to the New Republic. But the truth is being an _obvious_ Jedi would be very difficult for me politically, given the old Order’s history and role in the demise of the old Republic, and the on-going legacy of all the propaganda against them. I _do_ want to fulfil all my potential – but I don’t want to compromise my political career in the process. There’s still so much I need to do, to make all this” Leia gestured generally at the world around them “into a firm foundation for the future. To make everything I’ve fought for _mean_ something. So you see, I understand how difficult this decision is for you – and how Luke’s enthusiasm doesn’t always make it easy.”

“Why did he become a Jedi?”

Leia hesitated before answering. “I think you should ask him that sometime. I think it started out as an idealised notion of following in his father’s footsteps. By the time he found out the truth of _that,_ I think he’d learned so much about the Force that it had become a part of who it was – there never seemed any inclination in him to give it up, despite it all. Or perhaps he really just saw the idea of becoming the perfect Jedi as the way to make up for everything our father did.” She shrugged. “Like I say, it can make him a bit blinkered sometimes.”

“And maybe he thinks me becoming a Jedi is the obvious way to make up for my past,” Mara suggested slowly.

“Maybe. Or perhaps to make up for what Palpatine did to you. But either way, it’s presumptuous, if well meant, for him to think that for you. If you’ll let me, I’ll have a talk with him about it – I think it’s about time I had an entire discussion with this and how it relates to myself anyway.”

Mara frowned, not sure. As much as she didn’t _want_ to confront Luke about it, it felt cowardly to leave it to someone else. Also… her circumstances with Luke were a little more convoluted than Leia’s.

It seemed Leia picked up on that emotional flutter, as she cocked her head at Mara. “There’s something else to all this, isn’t there?”

Mara found herself looking anywhere but at Leia, trying not to meet her eyes. Couldn’t think of anyone she wanted to talk to less about this than Luke’s sister.

“Oh good grief,” Leia exclaimed. “So Han’s right, there _is_ something else going on. Last night?”

Mara found herself having to work very hard not to blush. This sort of thing – from romantic entanglements to girly chats – was very far out of her area of experience.

“So am I right in thinking that my brother, as well as pressuring you about the Jedi thing, has been pushing you for something more? I could kill him!”

Mara looked up at her in surprise. 

“Honestly Mara, as much as I care about my brother and his happiness, I get _really_ irritated when it messes with work. It’s going to be really tough finding an adequate liaison to replace you, and if he’s chased you off, I’m going to be very annoyed with him!”

Mara nearly laughed at her response. “I’m sorry Leia. It’s not his fault, really… it’s just all too much, too soon. Too much change…”

“… before you’ve had a chance to work out who you really are now, what you really want? No, I totally get it.” Leia shook her head ruefully. “Honestly, he’s as bad as Han sometimes!”

“Really?”

“Oh yes. Sometimes I think Han and I got together _despite_ the way he pursued me, rather than because of it. Try to imagine two years of being ineptly pestered by Han. Luckily for him, I probably fell for him, ooh, about the point where he chased off after an entire squad of stormtroopers by himself on the Death Star. I just took me a while to admit it to myself.”

That gave Mara pause for thought, thinking of her own surprising response to Luke last night.

Leia’s eyes narrowed again. “Han didn’t stick his oar in on this the other night did he? When he came home drunk after I sent him out to have a quick catch-up with you?” Seeing Mara’s expression, she gave out an exasperated laugh. “I’m going to kill them both!”

“Honestly, Leia, what am I supposed to do?”

Leia sighed. “Do what’s right for you Mara. I can entirely see why you’re not ready for this. I mean, I can give you an inspirational speech about how Luke is the most wonderful man you’ll ever meet and all the many reasons why you should give him a chance – but to be honest, I don’t think I’d be telling you anything you don’t already know, would I? But none of that matters unless it’s what you really want.” She paused a moment, collecting her thoughts. “What I would say – and I mean this about becoming a Jedi as well – is even if you get on that ship this afternoon, don’t close off those options. Don’t rule them out. Give it time – give _yourself_ time – but don’t make this have to mean that it’s all off the table.” 

Mara nodded. “Thank you Leia.” And she meant it.

Leia nodded and stood, leading Mara over to the door, indicating the limited time for this appointment was over. To her surprise, before she left the room, Leia leant over and gave her a warm embrace. “Stay well, Mara, whatever you choose. And may the Force be with you.”


	11. Chapter 11

The last few boxes of supplies were being taken on board the _Wild Karrde_ and the engines warming up when Mara arrived on the docking bay with her pack over her shoulder. The ship, perched high over the city on a round platform, was silhouetted dramatically against the distant Coruscant sun. It was strange to once again be leaving this city world she’d once considered home. But somehow things were much simpler out there in the stars, back amongst the fringe.

“Good to see you Mara,” Karrde’s voice came through to her comm from the ship’s bridge. She glanced up and saw him distantly through the front viewport. “Nice of you to join us.” There was no question there about the decision she’d finally come to, just his usual quiet acceptance. She was grateful for it. “See you on the bridge in a few minutes.”

She put her holdall down on the smooth surface of the bay as she waited for the loading droids to finish with the last few supplies. She didn’t want to get in the way. Instead she turned to glance around, taking in the vista of the city. _All these lives, full of so many possibilities._ Was she wrong to let those possibilities slip away, or was Leia right and they would still be here for her, waiting?

 

***

Luke stepped onto the landing platform, trying to get his breath under control so that no-one could see he had run here all the way from Leia’s office. He saw her ahead, back to him, red hair made dark by the bright light of the sun beyond her. A bag lay next to her feet, and he knew what it meant. She looked out over the city beyond the ship, apparently unaware of anything else.

He felt suddenly aware of the Jedi robes he wore. Not what he needed for this conversation, especially after what Leia had said to him. He quickly shrugged off the outer cloak and over-robes and left them near the turbolift entrance, hoping she wouldn’t notice, and walked across the platform towards her.

He stopped behind her, knowing she knew he was there. She didn’t turn, and could have been frozen in place like a statue. Her red hair flew about her in the wind of this high place, reflecting the turbulence he felt within her.

“Mara,” he said, finally. She turned and faced him, a challenge in her eyes.

“What do you want, Skywalker?”

“I, ah, I came to say goodbye. And that I’m sorry." 

Her face softened in surprise and confusion. “Okay.”

“I’m an idiot Mara – as my sister has just pointed out to me extensively. I’ve made things difficult for you, just when you deserved some time for things to be… not complicated.” He had to fight the urge to reach out and take her hand. Making a physical connection was his natural instinct when trying to show his sincerity – but right now, it wouldn’t help.

“She shouldn’t have said anything. I really wish people would stop butting their noses into my business.”

Luke shrugged wryly. “I’m afraid that’s part of the package when you have friends and family.” He wondered how much she understood the depth of the friendships she’d forged over the last few weeks and months. “But anyway, I just wanted to say that I understand why you’re going, you’re absolutely right to, but I don’t want my idiocy to ruin those friendships – our friendship – or your options to choose those other paths if you want. At a later date. If you decide you want to. Erm.” He didn’t feel he was articulating it well – certainly not as well as Leia had – but he hoped she understood the intent.

Mara’s eyes narrowed at him, scrutinising him. He had to work hard not to get caught up in them and fall back into the behaviour that had caused this in the first place. “And is that what _you_ want, Skywalker?” she asked.

He glanced down. “Well, the whole point is that this isn’t about what _I_ want, isn’t it? I’ve been talking and thinking way too much about what I want. This is about you, what you need.”

“That’s the thing, isn’t it Luke?” His heart nearly stopped to hear her use his name properly. “I don’t have a clue what I want, or need. I don’t even know who I am right now. And everyone is presenting me with all these possibilities – _amazing_ possibilities” to his surprise she reached out and grasped his hand “that I never even imagined before. It’s all just too new to process just yet.” She had stepped into the personal space he had so carefully left between them, and was so close now his heart was quickening and there was nowhere else to look except directly into her eyes. Her eyes and voice were stripped of all their defences now, and he knew she was speaking her honest truth to him. “Can you give me time to work that out?”

His heart soared with all the potential her words, and presence, promised. “Yes. That’s what I came here to say. As long as you need. Even if that turns out to be never.”

Mara shook her head and laughed softly. “That’s stupid, farmboy. Waiting around forever for a girl that might never come back. Only you… No, I’m not asking you that. I’m saying yes, I want to find out.” Her body was leaning into his now. “And the best way to work that out isn’t out in the stars, it’s here with you. I… can’t think of anyone I’d rather have by my side, helping me work this out.”

His breath froze in his mouth, hardly able to believe what she seemed to be suggesting.

“Do you think you can do that?” she asked.

He nodded. “Yes." 

And she reached in and kissed him, a simple pure kiss. A promise of what might be.

Behind them Luke vaguely heard the sealing of a ships hatch and the high whine of launch thrusters kicking in. The pair of them turned to see the _Wild Karrde_ begin to lift off the platform. Looking up to the bridge viewport above, Luke saw the distant form of Talon Karrde signal a short salute in farewell. Apparently he’d read the scene below and made a decision to stop waiting.

“ _Shavit,”_ Mara swore. “Can no-one round here resist making assumptions about my life?”

Luke looked at her and smiled. “Is he wrong?”

“No. But he’s so damned insufferable when he’s right.”

Luke laughed and shyly took her hand. “So… fancy some breakfast?”

She looked at him like he’d gone mad. “What? It’s mid afternoon.”

“I know, but it seems like we’ve missed a few recently. And anyway, a proper Corellian fry-up is such a good way to start something new.”

They made their way to the turbolift, leaving the silhouette of the _Wild Karrde_ flying away over the stunning vista of Coruscant’s sparkling buildings behind them.

 

_Fin_

 


End file.
